Motivation

Last modified on: 08/08/06

Self-Discipline and Absent Mindedness

One of the biggest threats to self-discipline is absent-mindedness. Sometimes I forget that I made a decision to restrain myself. For instance, I tell myself "this is my last piece of candy," and five minutes later I'm popping another Skittle, totally without thinking about it. How can I "watch myself" if I "doze off?"

Way to Think of Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is not self-denial. Rather, it's a reordering of priorities where one desire must be set aside or sacrificed for the sake of another more worthy desire. In that sense, self-discipline is a path to greater fulfillment.

Forming New Habits

It's easier to form a habit based on concern over what will happen if you don't do something than hope in what will happen if you do. The perception of warding off a consequence with each performance of the task is far more rewarding and motivating than the anticipation of a positive outcome some time in the distant future.

But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.
-- Paulo Coelho

Choosing What I Want

I went through a period of lucid dreaming, a practice of becoming aware while you are dreaming at night. Not only can you know that you're dreaming, but you can also learn to control the dream. This prospect was so exciting to me I came up with a number of things I wanted to do in my dreams: take a trip to Mars, ask dream characters questions about myself, see what it's like to meditate in the dream state, and of course fly, and on and on.

But it came to the point where I would become lucid in my dream, and I wouldn't be able to decide which thing I wanted to do. I would just stand there in my dream trying to choose the most important item on my list, and you know if you don't have a clear vision of what you want your dream to do, nothing will happen. Eventually, I would go back to dreaming normally, like falling back asleep. This went on until I stopped lucid dreaming altogether.

Looking back on that experience, I realize that the same thing has played out in my life to some extent. There are so many things I want to do, and so few of them I have actually done, because I can't decide which is the most important or which I should give priority. The conclusion I had about my lucid dreaming flop, it dawned on me, applies so well to my waking life I think it was a lesson for me.

Without a clear vision of what you want to do now (not ever but right now), nothing will happen. Those words resonate in my mind, an explanation of why things have been so stagnant lately. I must see and choose.

Possibility

Possibility means more to me than manifestation. If I say to myself that something great or something needed is impossible, it does not even matter if it comes to be, because I spent my journey to that destination looking the other way. If I say to myself that this is possible, that I believe, then it does not matter if it never happens, because I lived my journey fulfilling the potential of every moment. No matter how things look, I want to concede possibilities. Real possibilities ignored are disappointments. Miracles believed in become real within the beliefs themselves. Ursula K. LeGuin said, "It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end."

Rationing Fuel

I have ups and downs in my energy level. The higher the up, the lower the down. When a new project sparks my enthusiasm, I really throw myself into it. After several weeks of working on a new set of internet-related skills, I started to feel run down, but not just that. I actually became depressed... SAD. I kept asking myself, "Now what do I have to be sad about?" It did not make any sense, until it occurred to me that I probably used up all of my energy for feeling good. Perhaps I was low on a certain neurotransmitter. It was one of the first times in my life that I could clearly see a biological yet natural and maybe even healthy cause for sadness. My brain and my body were telling me to let up.

I made sure to get way more sleep, and my energy slowly returned. My mood improved. When the next wave of enthusiasm hit, I decided to ration it, as if the energy was actual fuel. The result was very positive. It is easier to sustain a more efficient level of enthusiasm for much longer without burning out.

The experience made me think harder about my response to sadness. How many times have I turned a natural lull into a struggle against past grief?

Energy and Exhaustion

Work sometimes requires us to do what we do not want to do, and for that reason, work can be very exhausting and draining. We might think we have no energy left, but that is not exactly true. Instead, our energy (motivation, enthusiasm, inspiration) seems to follow its heart. When we feel exhausted, our energy is just stored away somewhere else waiting to come out and fuel sincere action. I used to feel virtually comatose when I was working in fast food restaurants until the very minute I could go home. All of a sudden, I was ready to run around the block and jump around and do things. I thought it was the time of day except that I felt the same way when I left early. I think the answer to fatigue is not to find new sources of energy but to learn how to put the energy we already have in the place where we want it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
-- Robert Benchley

Your Ideal Goals, Your Real Goals

The goals you set for yourself are not necessarily the goals you operate by in life. The other day I started wondering what my real goals are, the ones that guide my life whether I know it or not. I realized how much time and energy I spend pursuing and thinking about money. I'm always thinking about how much money I need to live a certain way. Then I asked myself, "What is truly important in life? What goals can I pursue that would really make my life worthwhile?" Money was not among them. So when an issue of money arises, I tell myself, "It's just money. In a hundred years, it won't make much difference whether I bought new carpeting, a car with a built in cd player, or fancier watercolor paints. What's important is that I enjoy whatever I have and love as much as I can."

If you believe you can, you can, and the more you practice the attitude of achievement, the more certain you'll become. That's where the magic begins.
-- Lucinda Bassett

Strange as it may seem, life becomes serene and enjoyable precisely when selfish pleasure and personal success are no longer guiding goals.
-- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

To Do List Pressure

Although it helps me to write down all the things I need to do, I think it occasionally makes my tasks a little harder, because I look at the list and I feel so overwhelmed. To Do lists help me keep track of things, so I don't forget, and this even makes me feel a little more in control, but looking at a lengthy list of errands is frustrating. My solution is to make a list and then put it aside and get things done without looking at the list until I can't remember what else to do, or I feel like I'm forgetting something. I not only feel in control, but I find the items on my list not so hard after all. Using this method, tasks I often set aside a whole day to do only take me an hour or two, because I spend more time doing them than staring at the list.

Picture the Finish Line

When I study, I keep thinking about how nice it will be to have all the chapters read, then I keep thinking how nice it will be to have my study guide all written out and printed out and ready for me to review, then I keep thinking about how nice it will be to have everything memorized and comprehended. Otherwise, it occurs to me how annoying it is on the way to these mini-goals, and I can't get anything done. In these situations, I find that motivation is a matter of concentration on the benefits rather than the costs.

Avoiding Overdrive

I always thought a lack of motivation was my biggest obstacle, but recently, I learned that too much motivation can be just as damaging. I experienced a flurry of new ideas, and I could not bring myself to set them aside. In fact, I was missing sleep even while I was exhausted. Fortunately, I found something that worked. It did not help me to attempt to work on my ideas until it was out of my system, because this time the motivation was bottomless. Instead, I forced myself to work on something else, to attend to another area of my life, and to focus on it as though I had tunnel vision. It was uncomfortable at first, but the novelty was rewarding enough to divert my motivation to the things I was supposed to be doing.

Dreams are extremely important. You can't do it unless you can imagine it.
-- George Lucas

To achieve the marvelous is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

Procrastination is like a credit card; it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
-- Christopher Parker

Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation.
-- Jack Nicklaus

We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
-- Tobias Wolff, In Pharoah's Army

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.
-- Oprah Winfrey

Go With the Flow

In the Tao, it says, "Act without doing. Work without effort." At first, I didn't know what this meant, until I tried it. I always thought of myself as two entities: a slave driver and the exhausted one, trying to get things done while wanting to work on something different altogether. I never realized that the slave driver is totally unnecessary. Motivation comes naturally when I allow my wants to harmonize with my practical and long-term needs. I just go with the flow, and if I really want something done, I do it.

Acknowledge Progress

I have found it helpful to pay attention to what I accomplish instead of moving right on to new goals and worries. If I never stop to acknowledge what I have achieved, I never feel like I'm really doing or achieving anything. When I do acknowledge my progress, I'm filled with energy and excitement about the next mountain I must climb.

Taking Pride

Work is easy and fun when I take pride in it, even if it doesn't mean much. It's actually easier to get something done if I try to do it well, even if it seems insignificant. I find it easier to vaccuum the carpet when I want to do a good job. Homework is much more pleasant when I shoot for excellence. If I shoot for a B or a C, the job is boring and stressful.

Just Get Started

Sometimes, all it takes for me to complete a project is a small start. When I need to work on a long paper, I feel no motivation at all until I sit down and look at what I have already written. As I read, I actually want to write more. So instead of thinking that I need to write a paper, I think, "All I have to do is sit down and look at it," and my natural motivation kicks in and does the rest.

Break It Down

Suppose you had to clean the floor of a restaurant. Looking out at all those tables and chairs and thinking about how much work you have to do just to get the job done is quickly overwhelming. Yet, suppose your job was simply to move the tables and chairs out of the way. That task is simple, direct, and you don't have to do anything else before you can accomplish it. The weight is significantly lifted. Breaking down a task makes it possible to do.